In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and ""roads"" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. Behind the fake Tudor facade of Pine Cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy traveling companion. The winos, neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, meanwhile, have other ideas. And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose.

Pine Cove Series

Practical Demonkeeping

Bartholomew Neil is thirty-nine and lost. He's lived his whole life, up till a few weeks ago, with his devoted mum, but now she has died Bartholomew has no idea how to be on his own. His grief counsellor, Wendy, says he needs to find his flock and leave the nest. But how does a man whose whole life has been grounded learn how to fly? So Bartholomew turns to Richard Gere, the man his mum adored from afar, in the hope he can offer some answers. In Bartholomew's letters to Richard Gere he explores philosophy and friendship, alien abduction and the mystery of women. The letters also reveal his heart-breaking need of a family, but when Bartholomew does manage to assemble a motley family of sorts, he seems to have taken on more than he bargained for . . .

The Good Luck of Right Now

Aspirational business book based on interviews with over 75 leading American CEOs. What does it take to succeed in business and to inspire others? Adam Bryant of The New York Times sat down with more than seventy-five CEOs and asked them how they do their jobs and the most important lessons they learned as they rose through the ranks. The Corner Office draws together lessons, memorable stories, and eye-opening insights from chief executives like Steven Ballmer (Microsoft), Carol Bartz (Yahoo), Jeffrey Katzenberg (DreamWorks), and Alan Mulally (Ford), as Bryant reveals the keys to success in the business world, including the five qualities CEOs value most in their employees, and shows how executives at the top of their game get the most out of others. For aspiring executives, of any age, The Corner Office offers perspectives that will help anyone who seeks to be a more effective leader and employee, and a path to future success.

The Corner Office

Aaron Peterson has never had it easy. As the son of a famed and eccentric theme park designer, his life has been one move after the next as his father chases new jobs in countries around the world. Aaron has watched rides and attractions of all kinds start with a blueprint on his father's desk, and end up a towering, larger-than-life creation to marvel park-goers. That is . . . until something really, really bad happened on his dad's latest job in Germany. Something worse than the accidents that had happened before. Something that Aaron and his family are desperately trying to forget. With the family on the run from legal trouble and out of money, Aaron's dad takes a job designing a theme park in his hometown of Raven Brooks. The strange small town holds its own share of secrets . . . including some that Aaron's father would prefer stay buried. This explosive new prequel trilogy explores the rise and fall of the Peterson family like never before! Found documents throughout help readers unwind the many mysteries at the heart of the hit game.

Hello Neighbor

Bad Blood - Hello Neighbor, Book 4 (Unabridged)

Welcome to another typical summer in Florida, the season of the storms. Serge Storms. That loveable, under-under-medicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance. And not a weirdness-laced moment too soon. His cherished home state is about to take a beating, and from far more than the way-too-routine conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. Corpses have begun turning up at a disturbing rate, even for Florida, and it looks like a brutal serial killer is on the loose. Serge vows to stop at nothing in his juggernaut to make All Things Right...except if he gets bored or distracted by a cool souvenir or...or a...whatever. But his path won't be obstacle free. Agent Mahoney has picked up the scent. The obsessive criminal profiler is convinced there is no second killer. Then there's Coleman, whose triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging just might derail the mission more than the entire police community put together. The pace picks up. Winds howl, TV reporters fly around the beach, and questions mount: Who's stalking Tampa Bay's most sensitive journalist? Do multiple orgasms improve storm tracking? Why is the feeding-tube guy so quiet? All of which ultimately leads to the most pressing question on everyone's new-millennium lips: What would Serge do? Performed by Oliver Wyman

Serge Storms

Hurricane Punch

The ""compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny"" (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey returns with an insanely entertaining tale in which the inimitable Serge A. Storms sees dead people and investigates a creepy urban myth that may be all too real. Though another devastating hurricane is raking Florida, its awesome power can’t stop the Sunshine State’s most loyal son, Serge A. Storms, from his latest scenic road trip: a cemetery tour. With his best bro Colman riding shotgun, Serge hits the highway in his ’69 gold Plymouth Satellite, putting pedal to the metal on a grand tour of the past. Beginning in Key West, the sunshine boys’ odyssey includes a forgotten mass grave in Palm Beach county holding the remains of African Americans killed by the Great Hurricane of 1928, and the resting place of one world-famous television dolphin (RIP Flipper) from the 1960s. But one deadland—a haunted old sugar field—holds more than just the bones of those who’ve passed. For years, local children have whispered about a boogeyman hiding among the stalks. Could it be the same maniac known as Naked Florida man who’s been raising hell all over the place? There are few things Serge loves more than solving a good mystery and bestowing justice on miscreants who sully his beloved home’s good name. With his partner bong boy, Florida’s psycho superhero will find the truth in this hilariously violent delight—packed with history, lore, and plenty of motel antics—from the insanely ingenious Tim Dorsey.

Naked Came the Florida Man

Children’s Choice Book Award Finalist Clark the Shark is ready for his first big sleepover! He’s nervous about sleeping outside without his glow-fish night-light, but he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s just a teeny-tiny bit afraid of the dark. So Clark makes up a rhyme to help him stay cool: “Take heart, be smart, sharks aren’t afraid of the dark.” But when the sun sets and his friends begin telling spooky stories, Clark’s voice sounds quiet and small and not brave at all. In this empowering tale about conquering nighttime fears, Clark the Shark learns how friendship can help light the way through the dark. Featuring bright, colorful artwork from Guy Francis and hilarious read-aloud text from Bruce Hale, this Clark the Shark picture book is the perfect story for kids braving nighttime jitters!

Clark the Shark

Clark the Shark: Afraid of the Dark

It's Anna Angelfish's birthday, and Clark wants to find the perfect present for her to show her how he feels. But when he tries to make a big impression with his usual zip, bang, and BOOM, things don't go quite as planned. With help from his best friend, Joey Mackerel, our favorite boisterous shark learns that when it comes to showing that you care, something thoughtful and small could be the best of all. Featuring bright, colorful artwork from Guy Francis and hilarious read-aloud text from Bruce Hale, this follow-up to Clark the Shark and Clark the Shark Dares to Share will have kids and parents everywhere taking its warm message to heart!

Clark the Shark Takes Heart

A hilarious new middle grade novel from beloved and bestselling author Gordon Korman about what happens when the worst class of kids in school is paired with the worst teacher—perfect for fans of Ms. Bixby’s Last Day. A good choice for summer reading or anytime! The Unteachables are a notorious class of misfits, delinquents, and academic train wrecks. Like Aldo, with anger management issues; Parker, who can’t read; Kiana, who doesn’t even belong in the class—or any class; and Elaine (rhymes with pain). The Unteachables have been removed from the student body and isolated in room 117. Their teacher is Mr. Zachary Kermit, the most burned-out teacher in all of Greenwich. He was once a rising star, but his career was shattered by a cheating scandal that still haunts him. After years of phoning it in, he is finally one year away from early retirement. But the superintendent has his own plans to torpedo that idea—and it involves assigning Mr. Kermit to the Unteachables. The Unteachables never thought they’d find a teacher who had a worse attitude than they did. And Mr. Kermit never thought he would actually care about teaching again. Over the course of a school year, though, room 117 will experience mayhem, destruction—and maybe even a shot at redemption. This middle grade novel is an excellent choice for tween readers in grades 4 to 6, in the classroom or for homeschooling.

The Unteachables

When Charlie Benjamin sleeps, monsters wake up. It's hard to fit in when your nightmares open portals to the Netherworld, where horrible creatures live—like the class 3 Netherstalker that invaded a sleepover and tried to eat the other children. Luckily there's a place for Charlie—the Nightmare Academy. Built from wrecked ships set in the branches of the world's most incredible tree fort, the Academy trains people to use their unique gifts to fight the monsters that rush in when the lights go out. But Charlie is far more powerful than anyone ever imagined, and his entrance exam opens a portal straight to the heart of the Netherworld, where ultimate evil plots Earth's destruction. He'll need all his cleverness—and the help of his new friends—to save himself and his family and to put these bad boys to bed once and for all. The monsters under your bed are real! But never fear—the Nightmare Academy will train Nethermancers and Banishers like you to destroy them!

Nightmare Academy

Sassy and Waldo have been cast in the school play and they couldn't be more excited. They love to play! Only this isn't that kind of play. Sassy and Waldo are good dogs. They will do anything for their boy, Stewart. That includes putting on a trench coat and pretending to be a new student named Salty in his class just to make sure he is happy. But this month Stewart's class is going to put on a play. PLAY! There's nothing that dogs love more than to play. Well, except maybe eating hamburgers, napping, and chasing squirrels. But they're all equal. It's a four-way tie! Sassy and Waldo are in for a big surprise when they learn what a school play really is!

Two Dogs in a Trench Coat

Two Dogs in a Trench Coat Enter Stage Left - Two Dogs in a Trench Coat, Book 4 (Unabridged)

Loyal pups Sassy and Waldo need to save their boy from being bored all day in class, but the school won't let two dogs inside. Good thing they found that trench coat...! Sassy and Waldo are good dogs. They spend the day keeping their house safe. Has a squirrel ever gotten inside? No! But every day their boy, Stewart, comes home from this terrible place called school smelling like anxiety and looseleaf paper. Sassy and Waldo decide to save Stewart. But they don't let dogs into school. So Sassy and Waldo decide to get creative. They put on an old trench coat, and now everyone at Bea Arthur Elementary thinks they are a new student named Salty from Liver, Ohio. Well, everyone except Stewart. Sassy and Waldo love school! Everything smells like meat and dirty socks. And they discover a whole other way to help out Stewart!

Two Dogs in a Trench Coat Go to School - Two Dogs in a Trench Coat, Book 1 (Unabridged)

Sassy and Waldo are good dogs who are about to be let loose on their first class trip! Sassy and Waldo are back! When Ms. Twohey announces that her class is going on a trip to the History Museum, Stewart is worried he's in for another long day of facts and learning. But nothing can be boring when you have two dogs in a trench coat along with you. Just hope they don't get too close to those huge dinosaur bones!

Two Dogs in a Trench Coat Go On a Class Trip - Two Dogs in a Trench Coat, Book 3 (Unabridged)

Sassy and Waldo love school so much that sometimes they stay after the day is over. And that's how they started a club by accident. Sassy and Waldo love school! Everything smells like meat and dirty socks! And they love being able to help Stewart. When Stewart has to stay late after school for a Junior Office Supply Enthusiasts meeting, Sassy and Waldo are left alone to raid the cafeteria's refrigerator. As Sassy and Waldo's after school antics escalate, hilarity ensues as the two dogs start a club...by accident.

Two Dogs in a Trench Coat Start a Club by Accident - Two Dogs in a Trench Coat, Book 2 (Unabridged)

The world as you know it was created and is still maintained by The Seems. From the Department of Weather to the Department of Emotions, The Seems ensure our world is just as we like it. Occasionally, something in one of these departments will break down, and a Fixer is sent in to repair it before there is damage to our world. Becker Drane may seem like your average 7th grader, but he's actually one of 37 Fixers in the entire world, and is just about to embark on his first mission. Will Becker fix the Glitch in Sleep and become the hero of the Seems, or will his first assignment be his last?

The Seems

The Glitch in Sleep - The Seems, Book 1 (Unabridged)

Becker Drane's still got the coolest job in The World, but it's getting harder and harder to live a normal life outside of The Seems. He's always working, getting pulled out of bed to go Fix, and his Me-2? spends more time with his family than he does. And even though it's completely against the Rules, he can't stop thinking about Jennifer Kaley, the totally cool girl he met during his Mission in Sleep. Things don't get any easier when a bomb explodes in the Department of Time, and Becker is called in to take over for a more senior Fixer who disappeared during the Mission. With so many lives at stake, it's his toughest Fix yet. Becker finds himself going places in The Seems he never knew existed-and meeting people long thought dead. Yep, it's just another day in the life of Becker Drane. Let's hope he lives to Fix again. . . .

The Split Second - The Seems, Book 2 (Unabridged)

Hello. I am Daniel Handler, the author of this book. Did you know that authors often write the summaries of their books that appear here on the package? You might want to think of that the next time you read something like, ""A dazzling page-turner, this novel shows an internationally acclaimed storyteller at the height of his astonishing powers."" Adverbs is a novel about love -- a bunch of different people, in and out of different kinds of love. At the start of the novel, Andrea is in love with David -- or maybe it's Joe -- who instead falls in love with Peter in a taxi. At the end of the novel, it's Joe who's in the taxi, falling in love with Andrea, although it might not be Andrea, and in any case it might not be the same Andrea, as Andrea is a very common name. So is Allison, who is married to Adrian in the middle of the novel, although in the middle of the ocean she considers a fling with Keith and also with Steve, whom she meets in an automobile, unless it's not the same Allison who meets the Snow Queen in a casino, or the same Steve who meets Eddie in the forest. It might sound confusing, but that's love, and as the author -- me -- says, ""It is not the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done."" A dazzling page-turner, this novel shows an internationally acclaimed storyteller at the height of his astonishing powers. Performed by Oliver Wyman

Adverbs

Why is everyone rushing to flee Tampa on a cruise ship to hell? Serge is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs. So is Coleman, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered. Then there's good ol' Jim Davenport, the E-Team, the Diaz Brothers, and Johnny Vegas, the Accidental Virgin, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of that blood-soaked criminal clan, the McGraws, whose nastiest, meanest member is finally released from prison and heads south bent on revenge. On top of it all, the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security. But wait! There's more on the horizon! Who is the oddly familiar femme fatale named Rachael? Is Serge wrong that guns, drugs, and strippers don't mix? What sets the Non-Confrontationalists off on a rampage? What finally brings Coleman and Lenny together? Will they succeed in building the biggest bong ever? And can Serge surf a rogue wave to victory? So batten the hatches, don the life jackets, and take cover as all these questions and more are answered in the latest adventure from the acclaimed author of Hurricane Punch.

Atomic Lobster

“Dorsey’s brilliantly, profanely funny 11th novel…zips along like P.G. Wodehouse’s best work.” —Richmond Times-Dispatch Tim Dorsey’s outrageously zany, gleefully violent, and uproariously funny Nuclear Jellyfish marks the triumphant return of lovable, thrill-killing Florida historian and tireless civic booster Serge A. Storms. The bestselling author of Atomic Lobster, Triggerfish Twist, and Florida Roadkill, Dorsey can match Carl Hiaasen punch-for-punch when it comes to fictionally depicting Sunshine State madness—and he’s taken his rightful place alongside Christopher Moore in the pantheon of top American humorists. Nuclear Jellyfish is a veritable WMD of radioactive hilarity—as Denver’s Rocky Mountain News so aptly puts it, “It doesn’t get any better.”

Nuclear Jellyfish

Frank and Tank are captain and first mate of the tugboat the Stinky Sue. Their exciting adventures at sea are told through simple, declarative sentences with an emphasis on phonics. A very funny Level 1 ICR series about friendship, boats, and community, this is a perfect choice for newly independent readers ready for a very short story with an exciting plot. Fog rolls in suddenly, and now Captain Frank (an otter) and First Mate Tank (a hippo), onboard their sturdy tug, the Stinky Sue, are lost at sea. Things can seem spooky in the fog, and the two friends must rely on each other to get home and stay cheerful! The fourth funny book in the Level 1 I Can Read series about friendship, boats, and community that features strong phonics elements and silly full-color illustrations.

I Can Read Level 1

Frank and Tank: Foggy Rescue

Captain Frank and First Mate Tank are ready for another exciting adventure at sea! Frank (an otter) and Tank (a hippopotamus) are best friends and captain and first mate of the tugboat Stinky Sue. And on their latest voyage, they discover an extra crewmate—a stowaway! Curtis hides aboard the tugboat during his class field trip. Good thing he does, because Frank and Tank need extra help when they are called to rescue a pirate ship. No boat too big, no boat too small, the Stinky Sue will save them all! Frank and Tank: Stowaway is told through simple, declarative sentences with an emphasis on phonics, and colorful (and silly!) illustrations will delight newly emerging readers interested in adventure, the ocean, harbors, and friendship. Frank and Tank: Stowaway is a Level 1 I Can Read book, which means it's perfect for children learning to sound out words and sentences. Phonics teaches children the relationship between letters and the sounds they make. A child who has mastered these relationships has an excellent foundation for learning to read and spell. According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a child who has learned phonics has a method to recognize familiar words and "decode" unfamiliar ones.

Frank and Tank: Stowaway

“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.

When Elves Attack

Huff and Puff are a team who stay on track: Huff pulls the train. Puff pushes the train. But when a new speedy train challenges the pair to a race, the caboose and engine must find out if slow and steady can win the race. Ready, set, go! With colorful illustrations from Gill Guile and fun, simple rhymes and verse from Tish Rabe, Huff and Puff will help beginning readers and train lovers strengthen their reading skills. This is a My First I Can Read book, which means it's perfect for shared reading with a child. Supports the Common Core State Standards.

My First I Can Read

Huff and Puff and the New Train

That's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break! It's been a long time coming, but they're at the party now—and you'll never look at a Frisbee the same way again. One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge, so he must hit them all, traveling through various historic locales, spewing nuggets of history at anyone who won't run away and dispensing his own signature brand of Sunshine State justice. Along the way he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in their wake. Are the kids safer under Serge's protection? Or does being with him put them in more peril? The classroom and the pot brownies never prepared them for this. Which raises more questions: Who's the guy studying satellite photos? Where did the protected witness go? When did Coleman get all those trophies? Why are the Feds hot on everyone's trail? How did the burnt corpse end up by the pool? What's the best way to keep beer cool on the beach? Then there are the coke smugglers gone legit and a pair of the most dangerously sexy bartenders to ever mix a rum runner. Throw in some dirty dancing contests, illicit drugs, rockin' tunes, screamin' sports cars, bungee rides, pawned class rings, and church breakfasts, and you've got a potent concoction that keeps the hotel's concierge up all night stopping people from falling off the balconies. Want even more? Serge says, ""You got it!"" After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic homicidal monsters, every bit as criminally insane as Serge—except without the morals. The mysteries continue to mount: How did Coleman end up with even more disciples than Serge? Can kids successfully climb fences while carrying pizzas? Will Serge survive the carnage, armed with a GPS and a kiddie pool? All will soon be answered—and of course every last moment is caught on tape as Serge creates his most excellent documentary ever, the making of Gator A-Go-Go. Pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget—no matter how much you might try!

Gator A-Go-Go

In A Short History of the United States, National Book Award winner Robert V. Remini offers a much-needed, concise history of our country. This accessible and lively volume contains the essential facts about the discovery, settlement, growth, and development of the American nation and its institutions, including the arrival and migration of Native Americans, the founding of a republic under the Constitution, the emergence of the United States as a world power, the outbreak of terrorism here and abroad, the Obama presidency, and everything in between.

A Short History of the United States

From Matthew Quick, the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, comes The Good Luck of Right Now, a funny and tender story about family, friendship, grief, acceptance, and Richard Gere—an entertaining and inspiring tale that will leave you pondering the rhythms of the universe and marveling at the power of kindness and love. For thirty-eight years, Bartholomew Neil has lived with his mother. When she gets sick and dies, he has no idea how to be on his own. His redheaded grief counselor, Wendy, says he needs to find his flock and leave the nest. But how does a man whose whole life has been grounded in his mom, Saturday mass, and the library learn how to fly? Bartholomew thinks he’s found a clue when he discovers a “Free Tibet” letter from Richard Gere hidden in his mother’s underwear drawer. In her final days, mom called him Richard—there must be a cosmic connection. Believing that the actor is meant to help him, Bartholomew awkwardly starts his new life, writing Richard Gere a series of highly intimate letters. Jung and the Dalai Lama, philosophy and faith, alien abduction and cat telepathy, the Catholic Church and the mystery of women are all explored in his soul-baring epistles. But mostly the letters reveal one man’s heartbreakingly earnest attempt to assemble a family of his own. A struggling priest, a “Girlbrarian,” her feline-loving, foul-mouthed brother, and the spirit of Richard Gere join the quest to help Bartholomew. In a rented Ford Focus, they travel to Canada to see the cat Parliament and find his biological father . . . and discover so much more.

A re-release of this award-winning, critically acclaimed novel just in time for its major motion picture release, directed by Two-time Academy Award® winner Ang Lee, screenplay by Jean-Christophe Castelli and featuring Joe Alwyn, Kristen Stewart, Chris Tucker, Garrett Hedlund, with Vin Diesel and Steve Martin. A ferocious firefight with Iraqi insurgents--caught on tape by an embedded Fox News crew--has transformed the eight surviving men of Bravo Squad into America’s most sought-after heroes. For the past two weeks, the Bush administration has sent them on a media-intensive nationwide Victory Tour to reinvigorate public support for the war. Now, on this chilly and rainy Thanksgiving, the Bravos are guests of a Dallas football team, slated to be part of the halftime show. Among the Bravos is Specialist William Lynn, a nineteen-year-old Texas native. Amid clamoring patriots sporting flag pins on their lapels and support our troops bumper stickers on their cars, the Bravos are thrust into the company of the team owner and his coterie of wealthy colleagues; a luscious born-again cheerleader; a veteran Hollywood producer; and supersized pro players eager for a vicarious taste of war. Among these faces Billy sees those of his family--his worried sisters and broken father—and Shroom, the philosophical sergeant who opened Billy’s mind and died in his arms. Over the course of this day, Billy will begin to understand difficult truths about himself, his country, his struggling family, and his brothers-in-arms-soldiers both dead and alive. In the final few hours before returning to Iraq, Billy will drink and brawl, yearn for home and mourn those missing, face a heart-wrenching decision, and discover pure love and a bitter wisdom far beyond his years. Poignant, riotously funny, and exquisitely heartbreaking, Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk is a searing and powerful novel that has cemented Ben Fountain’s reputation as one of the finest writers of his generation. Motion Picture Artwork ©2016 CTMG.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

When a third train chugs onto the scene, Huff and Puff learn how to share their friends. Join the fun with these two sweet trains in an easy-to-read story that's perfect for beginning readers. Each book in the Huff and Puff series has simple verse and rhyme, designed by experts to help children learn to read in the easiest and most enjoyable way. Author Tish Rabe has written over 120 children's books, including titles for Sesame Street, Blue's Clues, Clifford the Big Red Dog, and Curious George. In Huff and Puff, she and artist Gill Guile have created endearing train characters children will love.

Huff and Puff Sing Along

When Mrs. Inkydink announces a class trip to the farmers’ market, Clark is so excited he doesn’t listen to her instructions. “Hurrah, hooray, it’s time to play!” Clark gets lost in the crowd and has to use his rhyming to remember what Mrs. Inkydink said to do. Beginning readers will be entertained and reassured by this clever, funny tale featuring our favorite boisterous shark. The back matter includes fun, bite-sized facts about shark eating! With lively text from Bruce Hale, this Level One I Can Read is perfect for children learning to sound out words and sentences.

Clark the Shark: Lost and Found

Bottom feeders beware: the Sunshine State’s favorite psychotic killer and lovable Floridaphile Serge Storms has found a new calling, legal eagle, and he’s going to make a killing as a crusading attorney—and star as a dashing lawyer on the big screen—in this madcap escapade from the insanely funny New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. When it comes to swimming with the sharks, there is no bigger kahuna than Serge Storms. Binging on a marathon of legal movies set in Florida, Serge finds his calling: the law. Never mind law school or that degree, Serge becomes a freelance fixer—wildcat paralegal and pilgrim to the hallowed places where legal classics of the big screen such as Body Heat, Cool Hand Luke, and Absence of Malice were filmed practically in his own backyard. One of Serge’s old flames, young lawyer Brook Campanella, is also a rising star thanks to her expertise in the field of foreclosure law. Ruthless at taking down the greedy banksters kicking people out of their homes, she lands a major class-action lawsuit, and wins big. The opposition is determined to shut her down and they’ll go to extreme lengths to do it. Luckily for her, Serge has been hired to do some investigative legwork on the case. There's nothing he likes better than saving a damsel in distress, especially when it means kicking a bunch of shyster butt. The mayhem comes to a hilarious head at the Key West courthouse, at the height of the island’s raucous Fantasy Fest street carnival, and no one, including Serge, will ever be the same.

Shark Skin Suite

Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise—a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

Island of the Sequined Love Nun

Huff pulls the train. Puff pushes the train. Together they can haul a lot. Big stuff, small stuff, they’ve got it all! But what happens when the best friends realize that they’re stuck with too much stuff? Farmer Fluff has a brilliant idea! With colorful illustrations from Gill Guile and fun, simple rhymes and verse from Tish Rabe, Huff and Puff help beginning readers and train lovers build their reading skills. This is a My First I Can Read book, which means it’s perfect for shared reading with a child.

Huff and Puff Have Too Much Stuff!

Brothers from different mothers, bromancing history to save us from Trump. These are the continuing adventures of Barack Obama and Joe Biden, time traveling superheroes in search of a brighter future for America. Moments after the inauguration of our 45th President, best friends Barack Obama and Joe Biden were escorted to a secret lab run by the world’s greatest scientists. They were asked to take off all their clothes and hold very still in a fetal position until they felt a painful tingling sensation. Then they vanished. They would awake to find themselves apart, and inside their younger bodies—driven to find each other and change history for the better. Their faithful guide on this journey is Samuel L. Jackson, a brilliant actor from the present who appears in the form of an augmented reality that only they can see and hear. And thus, they find themselves leaping through time, striving to right injustice wherever they find it, looking for a world which they can proudly call home. This audiobook is a love letter to cheesy science fiction and the two men who can still be counted on to inspire us—an adventure that will melt your snowflake brain and give you hope for humanity at the same time.

The Adventures of Barry & Joe

A (Serge A.) Storm is brewing for a cabal of bad guys gaming the Florida state lottery in this insanely funny novel from the maestro of mayhem, Tim Dorsey. If you’re loud and proud Floridian Serge A. Storms, how do you follow up your very own remake of Easy Rider? You shoot your own ""episodes"" of your favorite classic television show, Route 66! With Coleman riding shotgun, Serge is rolling down the highway of his dreams in a vintage silver convertible Corvette just like the snazzy car Martin Milner drove. It doesn’t matter that the actual Route 66 didn’t pass through Florida, for Serge discovers that a dozen episodes near the series’ end were filmed (really!) in his beloved home state. So for Serge and the always toked and stoked Coleman, the Sunshine State is all the road you need to get your kicks. But their adventure traveling the byways of the Sunshine State’s underbelly is about to take a detour. Someone is trying to tilt the odds in the state lottery amidst a conga line of huge jackpots spinning off more chaos than any hurricane season. With this much at stake, of course every shady character wants in. Crooked bodega owners, drug cartels laundering money through the lottery, and venture capitalists are all trying to game the system—and lining up to get their cut. They’re also gambling with their lives, because when Serge and Coleman get hip to this timely (and very lucrative) trip, there’s no telling whose number is up next. Throw in Brooke Campanella, Serge’s old flame, as well as the perpetually star-crossed Reevis, and it’s a sure bet that the ever lucky Serge will hit it big. Winning has never been this deadly—or this much fun!

Clownfish Blues

Channeling his inner Easy Rider, Serge Storms saddles up for his most epic, lethal, and hilarious road trip ever as he revvs off to find the lost American Dream . . . starting in the Florida Panhandle. Obsessed with the iconic Sixties classic Easy Rider, encyclopedic Floridaphile, lovable serial killer, and movie buff extraordinaire Serge A. Storms devises his wildest plan yet: finish the journey begun by his freewheeling heroes, Captain America and Billy, tragically cut short by some shotgun-wielding rednecks. Setting a course for the Florida panhandle, Captain Serge—with Coleman literally riding shotgun—mounts his classic motorcycle and hits the highway in search of the real America: the apple-pie-eating, freedom-swilling moms and pops of Main Street USA. But the America he finds in the rural burgs dotting the neck of the peninsula is a little bit different . . . and a whole lot weirder than anything Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper encountered. In a state where criminal politicians are more common than gators, Serge and Coleman discover one particular speed-trap locale so aggressively inept at corruption that investigators are baffled where to start. Expect nothing less than madness, mayhem, ingenious homicides, and mind-altering pharmaceuticals when Serge and Coleman’s path intersects with the Sunshine State’s hyper-dysfunctional rusticity. Where’s Jack Nicholson when you need him?

Coconut Cowboy

Audie Award finalist for Multi-Voice Performance! Performed docuseries style by a star-studded full cast including Santino Fontana, Shelby Young , Marin Ireland, JD Jackson, Dan Bittner, Vikas Adam, Gabra Zackman, Fred Berman, Darrell Dennis, Oliver Wyman, Jonathan Davis, Hilary Huber, and Lisa Flanagan For fans of riveting true crime docuseries a la Serial and Making a Murderer, The Anatomy of Desire is a modern tale of crime and punishment exploring unbridled ambition, blinding passion, and the dark side of desire Claire Griffith has it all, a thriving career, a gorgeous boyfriend, glamorous friends. She always knew she was destined for more than the life her conservative parents preached to her. Arriving in Los Angeles flat broke, she has risen to become a popular fitness coach and social media influencer. Having rebranded herself as Cleo Ray, she stands at the threshold of realizing her biggest dreams. One summer day, Cleo and a woman named Beck Alden set off in a canoe on a serene mountain lake. An hour later, Beck is found dead in the water and Cleo is missing. Authorities suspect foul play, and news of Cleo’s involvement goes viral. Who was Beck? An infatuated follower? Were she and Cleo friends or lovers? Was Beck’s death an accident . . . or murder? Told in the form of an immersive investigative docuseries, L. R. Dorn’s brilliant reimagining of Theodore Dreiser’s classic crime drama, An American Tragedy, captures the urgency and poignance of the original and rekindles it as a very contemporary and utterly mesmerizing page-turner.

The Anatomy of Desire

Recapture Sunday afternoons and long summer days. This is a wonderful collection of all things that make being young, or young at heart, fun. These selections from the bestselling phenomenon Dangerous Book for Boys were chosen for easy, enjoyable listening independent of the book. Topics include: · Questions about the World · How to Play Stickball · The Rules of Soccer · Fishing · Famous Battles · Extraordinary Stories · First Aid · The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World · Seven Modern Wonders of the World The perfect book for every boy from eight to 80.

The Dangerous Book for Boys

Don’t shed a tear, 'cause there’s nothing to fear! Clark the Shark has a loose tooth and needs to visit the dentist. But he's heard that the dentist is scarier than a box of blue whales! Uh-oh, and oh no! Can Clark find a way to stay cool when it comes to tooth trouble? Beginning readers will be entertained and reassured by this clever, funny twist on a dentist visit in this I Can Read story featuring their favorite boisterous shark. The back matter also includes fun, bite-sized facts about shark teeth! With lively text from Bruce Hale, this Level One I Can Read is perfect for children learning to sound out words and sentences.

Clark the Shark: Tooth Trouble

Reminiscent of the edgy, offbeat humor of Chris Moore and Matt Ruff, the first entry in a whimsical, fast-paced supernatural series from the New York Times bestselling author of the Sandman Slim novels—a dark and humorous story involving a doomsday gizmo, a horde of baddies determined to possess its power, and a clever thief who must steal it back . . . again and again. 22000 B.C. A beautiful, ambitious angel stands on a mountaintop, surveying the world and its little inhabitants below. He smiles because soon, the last of humanity who survived the great flood will meet its end, too. And he should know. He’s going to play a big part in it. Our angel usually doesn’t get to do field work, and if he does well, he’s certain he’ll get a big promotion. And now it’s time . . . . The angel reaches into his pocket for the instrument of humanity’s doom. Must be in the other pocket. Then he frantically begins to pat himself down. Dejected, he realizes he has lost the object. Looking over the Earth at all that could have been, the majestic angel utters a single word. “Crap.” 2015. A thief named Coop—a specialist in purloining magic objects—steals and delivers a small box to the mysterious client who engaged his services. Coop doesn’t know that his latest job could be the end of him—and the rest of the world. Suddenly he finds himself in the company of The Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome enforcement agency that polices the odd and strange. The box isn’t just a supernatural heirloom with quaint powers, they tell him. It’s a doomsday device. They think . . . And suddenly, everyone is out to get it.

Another Coop Heist

The Everything Box

“Read this book and discover sex again, but from a scientific perspective, and see why it evolved. It’s almost as much fun, and needs less energy.” — Peter Macinnis, author of 100 Discoveries: The Greatest Breakthroughs in History ""How Sex Works manages to inject science writing with the prurient thrill of a gossip rag."" —O magazine Medical maverick and New York Times bestselling author of Survival of the Sickest Dr. Sharon Moalem presents an insightful and engaging voyage through the surprising history and evolution of sexual reproduction. Fans of Freakonomics, Blink, You: The Owner’s Manual, and Why Do Men Have Nipples will find many engaging insights in How Sex Works.

How Sex Works

The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally—well, to be accurate, artificially—business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

From Florida’s king of mayhem—""compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny"" (Boston Globe) New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey—comes a diabolically madcap adventure featuring the indomitable Serge A. Storms. No one worships the Sunshine State as much as Serge A. Storms. Perpetually hunting Floridian arcana and lore, he and his permanently baked sidekick, Coleman, are on the road again. This time they’re on a frenzied literary pilgrimage that leads them back to Riviera Beach, the cozy seaside town where the boys spent their formative years. Growing up, Serge was enthralled by the Legend of Riviera Beach, aka Darby, a welder at the port who surfed the local waves long before the hot spots were hot. A god on the water, the big-hearted surfer was a friend to everyone—the younger surfers, cops, politicians, wealthy businessmen and ordinary Joes—a generosity of spirit that earned him the admiration of all. Meanwhile, there was a much murkier legend that made the rounds of the schoolyards from Serge’s youth—that of the crazy hermit living in a makeshift jungle compound farther up the mysterious Loxahatchee River than anyone dared to venture. Then Serge moved away. But never forgot. Now he’s back, with those legends looming larger than ever in the rearview mirror of his memory. As his literary odyssey moves north from Key West, closer and closer to his old stomping grounds, Serge digs into the past as only Serge can. Along the way, he unintentionally disturbs some long-forgotten ground, attracting the attention of a cast of villains that only Florida can produce. As the body count grows, so does the list of questions: Why are the guys in the hard hats worried about the monkeys? When do you hack a motel air-conditioner? How does Coleman get high with cat toys? Who is expecting the dildo? And will book tours ever be the same after Serge decides to check one out? Told in alternating flashbacks between Serge and Coleman’s childhoods and the present day, The Pope of Palm Beach is a witty and deliciously violent delight from the twisted imagination of Tim Dorsey.

The Pope of Palm Beach

Serge A. Storms embarks on a tour to meet his long-lost relatives in this latest madcap entry in the bestselling series from “Florida’s compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey. Devoted Floridaphile Serge Storms is a lover of history, so he’s decided to investigate his own using one of those DNA services from late-night TV. Excited to construct a family tree, he and Coleman hit the road to meet his kin. Along the way, he plans to introduce Coleman to the Sunshine State’s beautiful parks where he can brush up on his flora, fauna, and wildlife and more important, collect the missing stamps for his park passport book. But as the old saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far . . . Serge is thrilled to discover he may be related to a notorious serial killer who’s terrorized the state for twenty years and never been caught. Which one of his newfound relatives will be the one to help him hunt down this deranged maniac? Serge doesn’t know that a dogged investigator from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement is also hot on the trail. Then Serge meets a park ranger who’s also longing to make a family reconnection. But all is not as it appears on the surface, and Serge’s newfound friendship in the mysterious swamps of Florida may lead to deadly results. Finding his own relatives has made Serge understand the importance of family. Of course he’ll do anything to help . . .

Tropic of Stupid

The Sunshine State’s most lovable psychopath, Serge A. Storms, kills it in this zany adventure from the “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) king of mayhem, New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. Serge and Coleman are back on the road, ready to hit the next stop on their list of obscure and wacky points of interest in the Sunshine State. This time, Serge’s interest is drawn to one of the largest retirement villages in the world—also known as the site of an infamous sex scandal between a retiree and her younger beau that rocked the community. What starts out as an innocent quest to observe elders in their natural habitats, sample the local cuisine, and scope out a condo to live out the rest of their golden years, soon becomes a Robin Hood-like crusade to recover the funds of swindled residents. After all, our seniors should be revered and respected—they’ve heroically fought in wars, garnered priceless wisdom, and they have the best first-hand accounts of bizarre Floridian occurrences only Serge would know about. But as the resident’s rally for Serge to seek justice on their behalves, two detectives are hot on the heels of Serge and Coleman’s murderous trail. In this epic adventure that jumps between present day and the tumultuous times of the Vietnam war, mystery fans are in for a witty and deliciously violent delight from the twisted imagination of bestselling author Tim Dorsey.

No Sunscreen for the Dead

Lovable serial killer Serge Storms is back and coming to the rescue of a Midwestern couple who aren't finding Florida quite as charming as he does in Riptide Ultra-Guide, the sixteenth installment in Tim Dorsey's bestselling series. When newly unemployed Patrick and Barbara McDougal decide a vacation in Florida is just what they need to put life back on the right track, awful accommodations, a robbery, and a not-so-helpful police department make them rethink their decision to drown their troubles in paradise. Luckily, charismatic (and crazy!) tour guide Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman, are up for another action-packed adventure in this outrageous crime thriller that Tim Dorsey fans won't soon forget.

The Riptide Ultra-Glide

“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal “I guarantee Dorsey will never win the Nobel Prize for Literature—he’s far too funny.” —Richmond Times-Dispatch “If you’ve never read Dorsey, you need to start…You won’t be disappointed.” —Miami Herald Gloriously unrepentant Florida serial killer Serge Storms is back—and he’s finagled his way into becoming a secret agent in Miami—in another outrageous crime comedy from New York Times bestselling author, Tim Dorsey. In Pineapple Grenade, the incomparable Serge takes up spying for the president of a banana republic, and now Homeland Security wants to bring him down. It’s always a wild ride when Dorsey’s at the wheel, and with Pineapple Grenade he delivers his most explosively hilarious road trip to date.

Pineapple Grenade

Lock your doors! From the creators of the blockbuster horror video game Hello Neighbor comes the story that started it all. Unravel the mystery in this gripping prequel novel! Nicky Roth has always been a lonely kid. But that all changes when he and his family move to Raven Brooks and meet their eccentric neighbors, the Petersons. Nicky befriends the Petersons' son, Aaron, bonding over their talents for tinkering. Soon the boys are inseparable and using their skills to pull pranks on the townspeople. But something about Aaron bothers Nicky - people seem almost afraid of him and his family. Through snippets from Aaron and a lot of sleuthing in the town's archives, Nicky discovers a dark past haunting his neighbors, a streak of bad luck they can't seem to shake. Aaron thinks that's all behind them now, but Nicky has a feeling the Petersons are fated for another tragedy... This pulse-pounding prequel novel to the hit video game Hello Neighbor includes two-color illustrations throughout, to help readers unwind the mystery at the heart of the game.

Missing Pieces - Hello Neighbor 1 (Unabridged)

Don't miss the thrilling finale to the Hello Neighbor prequel trilogy, based on the hit video game from tinyBuild! Nicky Roth should be happy--he's finally proven that his best friend, Aaron, and Aaron's younger sister, Mya, are missing. Better yet, the police are actually doing something: they've plastered the town with missing posters, and have organized weekend search parties for the kids. But Nicky can't seem to pry his eyes from the house across the street, especially after he sees a frantic SOS coming from Aaron's room in the Peterson house. After what happened in the winter, and the warnings they got from their parents, Nicky's friends insist they can't help him investigate his neighbor anymore. If Nicky wants to find out what's going on in the Peterson house, he's going to have to do it alone. Don't miss the electrifying conclusion to the Hello Neighbor official prequel trilogy.

Buried Secrets - Hello Neighbor 3 (Unabridged)

Cold Cereal Facts Serving size 1 chapter Number of servings 40 Primary human characters 3 Scottish Play Doe, aka Scottpossible changeling Erno Utz genius Emily Utz supergenius Magical creatures at least 3 Mick Leprechaun (or Clurichaun) Harvey Pooka (rabbit-man) Biggs indeterminate origin (hairy, large) Evil organizations 1 Goodco Cereal CompanyPurveyor of breakfast foods aspiring to world domination Adventure 75% Diabolical Schemes 40% Danger 57% Legend 20% Magic 68% Humor 93% Puzzles 35% Mystery 49% Not a significant source of vampires. May contain nuts. Daily values based on individual interest. Reader's estimation of value may be higher or lower, depending on your tolerance for this sort of thing.

Cold Cereal Saga

Cold Cereal

Determined to save a damsel in distress, the Sunshine State’s favorite serial killer and encyclopedia of Florida lore Serge Storms dances a tango of death and mayhem in this funny and dementedly entertaining crime caper from Tim Dorsey, author of the New York Times bestseller The Riptide, Ultra-Glide. Thanks to the Internet, America has become a playground for ruthless scam artists out to make an easy buck. And where do these models of entrepreneurship hail from? Why, the Sunshine State of course! No one loves Florida more, or can keep it safe from invasive criminal species better than self-appointed Sunshine Sheriff Serge Storms. When a particular scam leads to the death of a few innocents and a young woman's disappearance, Serge and his perpetually self-bent sidekick Coleman—aided by his new pal, latter-day noir private eye Mahoney—load up the car for a riotous road trip to do right. Packed with seafood, mayhem, blood, Coleman’s deep thoughts, Floridian lore, and more, Tiger Shrimp Tango is a hilarious treat from the incomparable Tim Dorsey.

Tiger Shrimp Tango

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